Category: Reflection

Several months have gone by since my last post. Unlike the early months of 2022 when I went into hibernation mode, I stayed engaged this year. I reviewed a book series; recorded and performed with my singer friends; and, most importantly, reconnected with many friends. The activities that were held up by the pandemic and the visits that were cancelled all happened in a hurry.

Having friends around not only kept my spirit up but also inspired me to learn new music and to carry on with my old projects. For two years, I wrote about the nascency of Chinese art songs and traced the history and development of Chinese poems. In 2022, I began exploring the musical settings from the early twentieth century. One of my deepest wishes was to bring these musical works to live and to introduce them to new audiences.

Fascinated by the literary tradition and curious about the musical compositions, my bass friend Paul took upon himself to learn three songs: The Great River Flowering Eastwards and I Live by the Headwaters—both set by Qing Zhu, and Red Beans Verses by Liu Xuean. Despite the linguistic challenges, we were able present them to a live audience in Sarasota and recorded them afterwards. As things calm down gradually, I look forward to future performance opportunities and to being back at my desk for more discussions on song settings.

Three years—the traditional mourning period for one’s parents—have gone by since mom’s passing. Although, like anyone who tries to keep up with the fast-paced modern life, I did not put everything on hold, I never stopped thinking of her.

I was able to travel back to Taiwan for her memorial service and returned right before the COVID shutdown. Robert and I were both glad that mom never had to face the unfortunate situations and inconveniences of the pandemic.

Mom wore a jade bracelet on her arm for decades. She always said that, though not particularly beautiful with its sage color and some brownish “stains,” it brought her positive energy and protections. Now, the bracelet stays on my left arm. I would only take it off when playing some quick and heavy pieces. This way, mom is always by my side.

As I go about life and work, whenever something unusual happens, I hear mom’s voice commenting on it. Mom always had something to say about everything.

When I get frustrated with work, I think of her unyielding supports to my studies and my professional choices. Mom was a typical tiger parent. It took me years to realize that she only wanted to give me everything that she didn’t have as a child. I hope that my continuous efforts in trying to make some small contributions to the world around me will bring her comfort.

I miss you, mom.