Breathe!

This entry is part 17 of 17 in the series Guiding Hands

Summer of 1997, I joined the musical staff of Opera in the Ozark at Inspiration Point, a summer training program in Eureka Spring, Arkansas. I was told that we would have a German Maestro. Right away, I began imagining meeting a stern and peppery-haired dictator. And, I was worried that my preparations wouldn’t be satisfactory to the “Maestro”.

Wanting to get acquainted to the environment, I arrived early—so early that the hot water had not been turned on. A day later, when I finally settled in, I saw a young man walking passed my trailer. (Yes, the setting was “rustic.”) Judging by his European style clothing, I suspected that he might be the “Maestro.” But it was already dusk. I didn’t approach him.

The following afternoon, I went to the office. The Artist Director introduced me to this young man. Perhaps because he was facing the glaring sun; perhaps he was a bit jet lagged, Maestro Frank Hube extended a polite but weak hand shake, and threw me a strange look that, to me, seemed to be saying, “What is the Asian woman doing here?” There were casting auditions next day. Since the other pianist was sick, I sat at the bench for most of the day. Afterwards, Maestro was eager to talk to me. This time, it was me that wasn’t so sure about making the connection.

Work brought us close quickly. In the States, most coaches eventually pick up the baton and turn into conductors. I wasn’t sure that would be my path. But I wanted to know more about operatic conducting. Based on my past experiences, I knew that observing rehearsals were the best way to learn. I requested for and was given the permission to sit in orchestra rehearsals.

Because of the limited number of players, reductions were necessary for all the scores. Frank arranged the score for Puccini’s “Suor Angelica.” However, at the first reading, he wasn’t getting responses from the players based on the arrangements. I looked at some parts and realized that they were not copied correctly. We sat for hours at the table recopying the parts based on the markings in his score. The work was tedious, exhausting but necessary.

Realizing that I was comfortable with orchestration and score reading, Frank started communicating with me differently. We began discussing details missing in the piano/vocal scores; we began talking about articulations and colors in the orchestral score. One day, in a staging rehearsal, I played a loud chord with the action of door closing. Frank laughed and said, “That’s only a pizzicato.” So, a banging sound turned into a thud.

By the end of the summer, we have become good friends and ready to work together again in the next season. Many changes took place during that year, I arrived at the festival next summer mentally exhausted and was wondering if the autumn of life had arrived. Frank handed me a handwritten message (auf Deutsch) in a little notebook that he carried with him. I translated it carefully. It turned out to be the poem “Youth,” by Samuel Ullman:

Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind;
it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees;
it is a matter of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions;
it is the freshness of the deep springs of life.

Youth means a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity of the appetite,
for adventure over the love of ease.
This often exists in a man of sixty more than a boy of twenty.
Nobody grows old merely by a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals.

Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.
Worry, fear, self-distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to dust.

Whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every human being’s heart
the lure of wonder, the unfailing child-like appetite of what’s next,
and the joy of the game of living.
In the center of your heart and my heart there is a wireless station;
so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, courage and power
from men and from the infinite, so long are you young.

When the aerials are down,
and your spirit is covered with snows of cynicism and the ice of pessimism,
then you are grown old, even at twenty,
but as long as your aerials are up, to catch the waves of optimism,
there is hope you may die young at eighty.
[1]

I was very touched by the words and understood the message that Frank wanted to pass on to me. From then on, we encouraged each other to maintain a positive attitude, to continue our creative works and to never become bitter. Not an easy task at all time, but a possible thing to do with the support of a good friend.

Having worked on conducting with Dr. Shearer for a year, I asked Frank to help me further my training. We started from the BEGINNING: sensing the weight of our bodies (here we go again: GRAVITY), finding the balance and BREAHTE! I realized for the first time that our muscles would expand and contract with every breath we took: not only our waist and chest, but also our shoulders and arms. I finally understood how a good conductor, by breathing with the phrases, could lead a group of musicians to make music together. Music BREATHES.

Then, he talked to me about sound productions. Ah, sound! Something that I heard often from Mr. Wustman. Frank explained how the weight of the movements would change the color of the sounds. So, it’s important to sense the air resistance as we moved. Ah, “pushing water!” as Dr. Shearer would say.

The other thing Frank talked about was being a leader. Contrary to common believes, he told me that, in order to lead a group of people, one must be completely open and willing to show one’s vulnerability as music required. Authenticity! Being true to oneself, to our fellow musicians and to the audience.

What I learned that summer was more than moving arms. Music making finally came together as a whole for me. I am still working on opening up my soul. . . something that doesn’t come natural to an Asian person. (Writing blog posts is part of my exercise!) I am still working on the technical exercises that Frank gave me. But I feel free to express as a musician.

In the following two summers, I selected the orchestra members and organized rehearsals for Frank. We got to know each other even better through work and our common interests: literature and FOOD. Whenever we got tired of cafeteria food, we would take a trip to town for more interesting menus. Some nights, after rehearsals or performances, we would go out with friends for ice cream, sitting around, joking about what happened during the day. One time, I even managed to borrow the kitchen and prepared a picnic for a few friends.

Twenty some years has gone by since we first met. Frank and I continue to share our musical experiences and support each other during challenging times. He and his lovely family have become an important part of my life. Every year, we exchange books as holiday gifts and as an indirect way to share our thoughts. I am forever grateful for his friendship.

BREATHE!


[1] Frank’s quote began with “Vom Stein der Jugen bei der großen Eiche,” and ended with “inschrift in Parco giardino Sigurta, Verona.” An Italian translation of the poem, “Giovinezza di spirito e di cuore,” is inscribed on a rock by a four-century-old great oak tree at the Sigurtà garden park in Verona. Parco-Sigurtà
“Youth” was also General Douglas MacArthur’s favorite poem and was posted on the wall of his office in Japan when he was overseeing the post-war occupation.

Musici qui cantant

This entry is part 15 of 17 in the series Guiding Hands

I was given the assignment to accompany choir in my early years at Kent. Let’s just say that it wasn’t a productive experience. I was glad when the semester was over. In 1987, I was assigned to be the accompanist for all choral activities. “Apprehensive” would be the right word to describe my feeling, even though I knew that I would be working with a new conductor.

There were three choral groups at school: KSU Chorale, a selected small choir of music majors; University Choir, a larger group for all university students and Kent Chorus, a community choir. Accompanying all three groups, I saw Dr. Shearer every weekday. Miraculously, from the first moment on, I had no problem following his directions. Eventually, I realized that he was guiding my arms with his baton.

Dr. C. M. Shearer came from Texas, a state where choral singing was part of life. Before moving to Kent, he also taught in Omaha, Nebraska, and was the chorus master for Opera Omaha. With natural silvery hair, it’s hard to tell his age. His upright posture made him look tall and in command.

Dr. Shearer noticed that students in Chorale lacked discipline and wasn’t making enough progress. But he still took time to make sure that everything was done properly—sounds, intonations and phrasing. Towards the end of the semester, it became apparent to everyone that there was still much to be done before the concert. He told students that it would be possible to catch up. However, he was also willing to let them fail in public if they wouldn’t put in the work. The concert came and the group wasn’t ready.

After the failed performance, students learned to be responsible and to participate. He began training the group to pay more attention to details. He made them sight-sing: first just some simple exercises up and down the scales; soon, some new pieces. He would say, “Read ahead; sing loudly; and don’t stop.” Of course, this meant that I would be sight-reading new pieces at the piano. And, the same discipline applied to me as well. Slowly, He taught the non-music majors to read. And, eventually, the town folks.

The choirs began to feel like families. The chemistry within each group, especially Chorale, grew steadily. By the time we went on a tour, everyone was excited. I remembered vividly when the bus arrived at our lodging for the first night, one voice started humming “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.” Quickly someone else joined. An improvised a cappella performance went on as we settled in.

Dr. Shearer had a humorous side. He enjoyed telling singer jokes. At the same time, he would tell students to work hard on their musicality so they would become “musicians that sing.” The last year that I played for him, Chorale studied and performed Bach’s motet Singet dem Herrn ein neues Lied, BWV 225 for double-choir.[1] We made sweatshirts with image of the opening page of the score and the phrase “Musici qui cantant.” The sweatshirt is still in my closet. And, I constantly talk to singers about the importance of studying their scores intelligently.

Fall of 1997, while teaching at University of Akron, I decided to study conducting and asked Dr. Shearer for guidance. He explained to me how the baton should become an extension of my arm. (So, the length of my baton should be in proportion to my arm.) We met weekly studying choral works and operatic excerpts. Although I was familiar with the basic patterns, waving my arms did not come as naturally as I would have hoped. Dr. Shearer was patient with me. He told me to think as if I was pushing against water. This would eventually make a lot of sense to me later.

On a Friday morning in early 2000s, I received a phone call from Dr. Shearer. He had a big concert that night and his pianist was running a high fever. I picked up the music to take a quick look; returned a little before the concert to go over some details with him. Together with the choristers, who never met me before, we gave a solid performance. Thanks to “Read ahead; play clearly; and don’t stop.”

When Dr. Shearer announces his retirement, alumni of the Chorale decided to hold a reunion, concurrent with the annual Yuletide Feast in December of 2007. After almost two decades of separation, most of us showed up and picked up the fun exactly where we left it. Dr. Shearer even let me sit at the keyboard during the rehearsal for a moment.

When not conducting choirs, Dr. Shearer spends most of his free time on woodwork. An aviator, he talked about to build a small aircraft with his son as his retirement project. I am glad to find out that his dream has come true (and more).[2] Both he and Mrs. Shearer, who always joined us in parties and performances, enjoy cooking. Whenever they tasted something new and wonderful, they would go out of their ways to find out how to make the dish. I am sure that their collection of recipes has grown tremendously.

Read ahead; sing loudly; and don’t stop!


[1] Singet_dem_Herrn_ein_neues_Lied,_BWV_225_Wiki
Singet dem Herrn, Vocalconsort Berlin
[2] Father-Son-&-Airplane