My first post-shutdown performance came in the form of a video session a few days ago. As I checked all the necessities—music, clothing, shoes, and cosmetics—in the morning, I felt a moment of palpitations. Rather than excitement, it was a sign of nervousness. The kind of nervousness that one feels facing an unfamiliar situation.
The repertoire was a standard one. The environment was friendly. I knew all the faces in the room. However, initially, we were all a bit timid, returning to our works for the first time since last year.
I am usually critical of my own work and never feel confident with recordings. This time, I was simply pleased that my fingers went to the right places at the right time. I was glad to be able to tell the stories with sounds. All the emotions that have been accumulated in the past months slowly came out of my fingertips—like a large shapeless piece of rock, slowly melting.
I was content. No more and no less. Simply, content.